Life....

What is it that changes your life? What does it take for that big "aha" moment? Is it the big splashes that happen or those small little droplets of dew? Am I thinking too deeply,am I getting carried away with thought? I guess I am, and rightfully so. Oh about 3 weeks ago I drove down to CT to bring my Dad to the hospital for back surgery. Yes, it was pretty major, but all he wanted to do was to walk again,oh yes and dance! So what would you do, to beable to do the things you love. My son and I brought him, surgery went better than expected and all was well. I needed to come back to NH for 2 days and in the mean time Dad was walking some and on his way to Re-Hab. I hop in my car 2 days later to see him in Re-hab and find out when he will be going home and arrange for that. Mid-way through my ride my phone rings..it's the re-hab people telling me that my Dad had a little problem. He had passed out and was unresponsive for a little while. They got him to come around and he was able to tell them That I was on my way from NH to see him...they sent him off by ambulance to the hospital for the Dr's to find out what happened. Okay I think just another little "blip" all will be well..just keep driving. A little while later the hospital calls to say they have my Dad in the ER to ask for the nurse when I get there. Still no fear or worries..all will be well, I arrive only to be whisked away to a little room to wait for the Dr..still all will be okay..my mind is now playing games. Oh, heart attack..we'll get through it..I can get through anything! Not so! The Dr came in to tell me my Dad had passed away...BAM! Just like that gone...I'm still numb and unable to believe that he is not in his house waiting for me...but wait he is waiting for me..in another house.

I must have faith that I will see him and my Mom who passed away 3years ago..this has changed me! How I'm not sure yet..still processing all that has transpired. But it is inspiring me to live my life..but how? I think I will start with writing about how I feel..which is very unlke me but feel the need for these words to come out of my head and into print.I will also do all the art work I can because it is a way to express myself...I'm very curious to see what happens in the next days, weeks, and months ahead. So here is my beginning,......to life.